Odds are, you’re doing one of two things right now: Lamenting your broken March Madness bracket or checking the 10-day forecast on weather.com. Either way you look at it, springtime is upon us. (No, like, officially upon us.) This in turn means patiotime is upon us.
Patiotime is my favorite season of the year, a season in which humans and the sun coexist under the same Corona-embroidered umbrella. But unless you’re one of those privileged jerks with access to a pool, you only have about, oh, a month or so before it gets too friggin’ hot to do anything outside, let alone sit at a table with friends and drink pitchers of beer. So soak this glorious time of year up and enjoy one of the many patio offerings Oklahoma City has to offer.
Actually, if you’re in Oklahoma City, don’t just enjoy any old patio offering; enjoy one of the these specific patio offerings, because they’re the best damn patios in town.
While it’s technically not a patio in the traditional sense — more a miniature park full of food trucks and beer and lots of places to sit — any self-respecting patio list would be remiss to exclude Bleu Garten. It’s set up like a giant cafeteria of delicious food right in the heart of Midtown, only you can play games, watch TV, get drunk, and converse with some pretty chill people in this cafeteria. And with a rotating cast of cuisine offerings, this is undoubtedly one of the most unique patio-ish experiences around.
Any patio with live jazz music is pretty much the coolest place. But the Bossa Nova Bar at Café Do Brasil is a rooftop patio with live jazz music, which makes it exponentially cooler. Even when the live musicians aren’t up there doing their thing, the food, beverages, and vibe at this Brazilian-style restaurant are going to be top-notch. Plus I can sip on a Paulista Royal and groove to “The Girl from Ipanema” like I’m in a James Bond movie or something. Bossa Nova was under renovation at last check, but it should be an even better, brighter, more Brazilian hangout when it reopens here soon.
The Pump is like the new kid in school who listens to Bowie records and knows all the lines to Barbarella, which in essence means that this quaint little converted gas station is a quietly cool hangout. Cult classics play on TV screens (including Barbarella), its playlists would make your pothead uncle proud (thanks to Bowie), and the patio might be bigger than the bar itself. When the place opened back in the dead of winter, the first thing I said when I walked outside was, “I can’t wait for patiotime.” Well, it’s patiotime now, and The Pump’s porch is as conducive to fun as I’d imagined that night.
Yeah, obviously. Idyllically settled on the coast of Lake Hefner, Redrock Canyon Grill has a view — especially as the sun sets on the horizon — that would make God say, “Wow, I’m good.” Enjoy a cold one on this picturesque patio as boats cruise by and waves hit the rock-laden shore. There’s even a damn lighthouse out there. What more could you want?
If you hate delicious pizza, dogs, or awesome things in general, by all means: stay away from Sauced, because this place has all of those things in abundance. In addition to serving some of the best pies in town, this spacious Paseo Arts District staple is great for both people-watching and puppy-watching. Hell, during basketball season, they’ll even throw the Thunder game on via projection screen if you’re lucky. There’s a pretty great bar adjacent, too — the sensibly titled Sauced on the Side — where you can indulge in the harder of your preferred libations. The Sauced patio is basically the most awesome pizza party around — way more awesome than your 8th birthday at Chuck E. Cheese’s, that’s for sure.