Be a damn patriot and stuff your face with these Fourth of July foods

In case you haven’t heard, Saturday is America’s 239th birthday. Whether you’re going to be spending the weekend lakeside, poolside, or inside with some sweet, sweet air conditioning, I guarantee you’ll be doing some grand ole American-sized eating. And to celebrate this most joyous of patriotic occasions, we’ve rounded up some of your best bets for All-American foodie favorites.

So, obviously, when it comes to hot dogs, Mutt’s Amazing Hot Dogs is a pretty solid choice. And with names like The Windy City Dog, The Liberty Dog and Sweet Caroline, All-American fare is absolutely in the cards. Classic 100 percent kosher beef franks are the standard, but you can also opt for veggie dogs and burgers, and on the Special Breeds menu, they even have the likes of Andouille sausage, bison, lamb, chicken and rabbit if you’re feeling adventurous.

Then you have the brand spanking new (as in they just opened two days ago) Anchor Down in Deep Deuce’s OK Sea area, where gourmet corn dogs are the name of the game. And since it’s the brainchild of the people behind The Mule, you know it’s going to be crafty and damn good. First up, you have the hush puppies — jalapeño cheddar with queso on one hand, and sweet puppies with preserves on the other. But for the main attraction, options reign supreme — all-beef, wild boar sausage, a chicken dog, and there’s even a veggie-friendly smoked cheddar cheese variety and a vegan dog made with apple and sage. Gluten free batter is on the list too, and their maple whole grain mustard is supposed to be killer.

If you’re more into barbecue, Southern-style sides and good old fashioned grillin’, head over to Iron Star Urban Barbeque on Shartel, where they have all the makings for the epitome of a Fourth of July feast. Cornbread and deviled eggs like your mama makes? Check. Smokey chopped beef, pulled pork, and falling-off-the-bone ribs? You betcha. Decadent, buttery sides like fancy mac and cheese, whole fried okra, braised collard greens and dutch oven sweet potatoes? Hell to the yes. Save room for a serving of their peach crisp or double chocolate bread pudding and you’ll be totally set.

But with me being a vegetarian and all that jazz, I’m all about the grilled veggies, and the more the better – especially if they’re between two pieces of bread, commonly known as a sandwich. The title of my all-time favorite grilled veggie sandwich in all of OKC belongs to Saturn Grill. I’m talking they know my name and exact order — that’s how often I get this damn good sandwich. Simple in its ingredients but kickass in its delivery, this baby features grilled zucchini, portobello mushrooms, red onion, red pepper and spinach on pesto mayo-slathered, toasty flat bread. My not-so-secret twist is to add goat cheese, which is amazing when it gets all hot and melty with the other ingredients. Thank me later.

Last but certainly not least are the American-as-apple-pie desserts. The obvious but 100 percent delicious option is Pie Junkie — apple crumble is on the menu, but you also have the Kentucky Derby (walnuts + chocolate + Makers Mark), buttermilk pie made with Bird Dog blackberry whiskey, macadamia key lime and timeless classics like banana cream, coconut cream and pecan. You can come in for a slice or you can straight up order an entire pie. No one would blame you. And whether you’re screaming for ice cream or just screaming from the heat, you also have the likes of Roxy’s Ice Cream Social and Katiebug’s Shaved Ice to cool you off.

So happy Fourth of July, folks. Eat, drink and be merry, shoot of some fireworks, set off a smoke alarm, and have a beer or four for me. God bless America.